Why Your Relationship with Money Means Everything
Updated: Aug 25, 2020
Near the end of 2018, I had a very rare day date with a girlfriend to the mall. I know... right!? It was a Sunday and my husband hung out with the kids and I got a few hours to walk around like a woman, not just a mom, and dine at the Nordstrom Cafe Bistro with another adult human. I was helping her with a business idea she had so it was a great excuse to escape the family (because I constantly make myself feel like have to come up with an excuse for myself to have any time without my family).
But something happened at that lunch that I'll never forget and honestly changed the face of our business forever. I was going on and on to my friend, who also happens to be a really great coach, about money - how I didn't have it, how I couldn't make enough, how much pressure I felt to be successful, how my kids are expensive and our student loans are crippling, and the salmon salad cost too much and.... And she calmly watched me melt down at the table and finally said, "You have fear."
That day, she loaned me her copy of Jen Sincero's book "You Are a Badass at Making Money" and things were never the same. I had not read Jen's first book "You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life" but I did read it shortly after her money book, and I suggest you all get really familiar with these titles because they work.
I had never before thought about my relationship to money and how and why it is what it is. In fact, I'm constantly flabbergasted at the amount of things at age 42 that I "just haven't thought about" when it comes to my childhood and things that influenced my current mindset. I suppose I've generally had the attitude that I had already dealt with it all, but guess what? I hadn't.
I had never thought before about what my parents' relationship to money was and how that affected me. I had never explored WHY I had limiting beliefs about what I deserved monetarily and generally, in life. Struggle felt NORMAL - everyone struggles. No one is rich and if they are I'm mad about it! Well Jen set me straight. As soon as I started reading the book I knew EXACTLY what my friend meant about me having fear. And more so, I've been able to translate that new knowledge into the fear I hold for many many other aspects of my life.
The real gem, however, is how Jen Sincero convinces us all that money is energy - what you put out energetically, you get back! The most important lesson I learned from this book is how to examine my attitudes about making money as a mom and where the resentment and negative feelings come from toward OTHER people who have money. You will absolutely find your own gems in this book, but for me, I've had to learn WHY I look at people who have wealth and abundance and happiness in their lives and somehow judge that. And that kind of attitude (expelling that crappy energy into the universe) will NEVER bring me my own abundance.
Now, I will warn you that I have one criticism or concern about the power of this book -- and it IS powerful. It's something that my husband said to me when I immediately forced him to read it after I finished it, and it makes a lot of sense. Jen took some very huge monetary risks in her career - like borrowing 80k with the full, soulful belief that she could pay it back. And she did pay it back! But my husband was quick to point out that that kind of thinking could be dangerous for some people. As he said, this book is written for people like me. I'm a reeeeally hard worker. I am an over-achiever. I have lots of experience in different fields. I'm competent. I struggle with fear and worthiness like everyone else, but I don't struggle with addiction, or other challenges where taking risks could be detrimental to my life and the people around me. And I got his point. There is a group of people for whom this book will and can literally change everything. And there may also be people who should read this book and really focus on the HOWs that Jen Sincero talks about - the hard work parts - the elbow grease and competence that is also required to be your badass self and then ask themselves if it's right for them right now.
Looking back almost two years after this book changed my life is interesting to say the least. We did take some MAJOR risks in our business and have done things that I am so unbelievably proud of, all triggered by this book and the doors it opened up for me to explore even more about energy, money, abundance and worthiness. Jen Sincero does an amazing job at making this woo woo world digestible and easy understand, and she makes you laugh out loud along the way. This book is the perfect book to catapult you into making passive income from home!